Partners in Crime
by homicidalwombat
Summary: Ichigo and Uryu have noticed Rukia acting strange lately... and they're going to find out why! During they're mission they become rivals and might just fall in love. Might seem like het, but it's actually yaoi. Trust me. It might take a while, but...


**AN: Hay thar young 'uns! **

**Reading this chapter it might seem like an Ichigo x Rukia, or an Uryu x Rukia, but trust me… it really, really isn't.**

**Rated M for language.**

Ichigo was lying on his bed, sipping lemonade, when suddenly something hit his window, making a loud BANG. The Soul Reaper leaped up, ready to fight.

Another object hit his window, and this time he could tell it was a rock. "KUROSAKI!!"

Ichigo winced as Uryu's voice cut through the warm summer air. The orange haired Soul Reaper just wanted to relax. The Hollows had been bad this week, and he was absolutely exhausted. The last thing he needed was Uryu going off at him about something or other.

The slim Quincy was standing under his window, holding another rock in his hand. He looked bad, panting and sweaty. Ichigo wondered for the millionth time why he wore such heavy clothes, even in the summer. Today he was wearing a black, long sleeved t-shirt and black skinny jeans.

Ichigo poked his head out the window, scowling. "Whadda you want, Ishida? It's nine in the morning!"

"I know what time it is!" Ishida yelled, sounding annoyed. "Let me in!"

"Why should I?"

"Because if you don't I'll tell Rukia you're stalking her!"

Ichigo ran down the stairs, being careful not to wake his still sleeping father and sisters. He unlocked the door, hurriedly ushering Ishida inside. He opened his mouth to say something, but Ichigo clamped a hand over his face before he could speak. His hand was almost as big as Uryu's face.

"Shut up. If you wake up my family you're dead." Ichigo whispered.

Ishida glared and slapped away the substitute shingami's hand. "This is important, Kurosaki!" he hissed angrily. "It could be a matter of life or death!"

Ichigo set his face into a grim scowl. "C'mon upstairs."

They made their way to Ichigo's room in an awkward silence. Uryu had never been inside Ichigo's house before.

Finally they reached the room, Ichigo slamming the door shut and collapsing onto his bed, arms crossed over his chest. "Okay, what is it?"

Uryu adjusted his glasses, clearing his throat. "It's about Rukia."

Ichigo stiffened. "Is she okay?!"

Uryu coughed uncomfortably. "Yes. She's fine. But I'm worried about her. She's been acting strange lately, always at Uruhara's, and when I asked her about it she made some excuse about her gigai and ran away."

Ichigo frowned (more than usual). "Hmm."

"That's what I said." Uryu took a deep breath. "I know that you have a crush on her, so-"

Ichigo leapt up, blushing furiously. "WHAT?! Where did you hear that!?"

Uryu sighed. "Please, Kurosaki. It's common knowledge." Ichigo blushed even more and sat back down. "Now can I please finish my sentence?" the Quincy waited a moment before resuming. "Anyway, I know that you have a crush on her, so I was thinking that we could try to figure out what was going on."

Ichigo coughed/laughed. "What, like spying on her?"

"Yes."

Ichigo guffawed for ten minutes straight. Eventually he got off the floor and wiped away his tears of laughter, letting out little bursts of giggles every few seconds.

"Oh boy, Ishida, that's funny…" he sighed, grinning. Uryu wasn't quite so amused.

"I wasn't kidding, Kurosaki."

"Ishida, that's the stupidest plan I've ever heard. I would NEVER go along with that.

* * *

_The next day…_

"I can't believe I'm going along with this."

Uryu and Ichigo were crouched in the bushes outside of Uruhara's store, dressed completely in camoflage, with their faces painted green and brown. Uryu was wearing contact lenses to stop the sun from glinting off his glasses and giving them away, and Ichigo had been forced to wear a green knit ski cap with dead leaves sown into the brim.

"I feel like a shrubbery on crack."

"You don't look like a shrubbery on crack."

"I don't?"

"No. You look like a dead monkey covered in fungus."

Ichigo reached over to strangle Uryu but quickly pulled back and ducked under the bushes, pulling Uryu with him. "Shut up! She's coming out!"

Staring through the binoculars, Ichigo watched Rukia exiting the store. She waved to Hat 'N' Clogs and then began to make her way down the street, dragging a bag behind her. It appeared to be about half her size, and two times her weight.

"What the fuck is that?" Ichigo whispered, more to himself than to Uryu.

Uryu grabbed at the binoculars. "Lemme see!"

Ichigo held them out of his reach. "Look over the damn bushes! We're only ten feet away, you don't need them!"

"But I'm not wearing my glasses!"

"You're wearing contacts! Quit trying to bullshit me!"

Uryu pouted and sank below the shrubs. Ichigo sighed as Rukia stumbled out of sight and sat down next to Uryu.

"Hey, Ishida?" he said curiously.

"What, Kurosaki?" said the Quincy, irritated.

"Why are you so interested in what Rukia's doing anyway?" The question had only just dawned on the Soul Reaper.

Uryu blushed violently. "I… um… I'm not… I'm just concerned for her well-being, is all."

Ichigo gaped. "You like her!"

"I do not!"

"You like Rukia, you like Rukia, you like Rukia…!" Ichigo chanted.

"No I don't!" Uryu hissed. "Shut up!"

"Uryu and Rukia, sittin' in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Ichigo sang, reverting to the age of seven.

"SHUT UP, KUROSAKI!"

"First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes Uryu with the baby carriage!"

Uryu jumped on Ichigo, pinnig him to the ground. The shinigami laughed raucously, while the furious Quincy tried to retain the last shreds of his pride.

"From this moment on, Kurosaki, we are rivals for Rukia's love!" He shrieked. Ichigo shut up, regaining his scowl.

"Fine! She likes me more!" he said, quickly adding, "Girly-man."

Uryu glared. "First of all, I am not a girly-man. And second, I'm challenging you to a bet."

"What terms?"

Uryu thought for a second. "Whoever finds out what Rukia's secret is first can have her!"

Ichigo sniffed defiantly. "Fine. But I want to add something!"

"Fine. What?"

Ichigo grinned. "Just to make it harder… we still have to work together."

Uryu stared at the shinigami blankly. "Kurosaki…"

"Yes, rival?"

"Do you have a death wish?"

AN: And so the epic battle begins! Please review if you liked this, and continue reading!

**Here's a preview of chapter two:**

_**"How many Soul Reapers does it take to change a light bulb?"**_

"_**How many?"**_

"_**All of them, because they keep thinking they're Hollows and keep killing them."**_

"_**Okay. How many Quincies does it take to change a light bulb?"**_

"_**How many?"**_

"_**None, because the only two left are complete idiots."**_

"… _**touché."**_


End file.
